The Best Thing You Ever Had

(Yeah, Blues!)
I won't ask where you're going
If you don't ask where I've been
'Cause if you're looking for an answer, babe
I wouldn't know where to begin.

I don't know what I want sometimes
But I sure know what I likes
You've got that thing about you
Gets me hot inside

If it makes no sense when I wrote this song
Cause half way through it you were turning me on

Chorus #1:
Lay me down
I just might be your kind
I'll show you a better way
We can do away the time
If you stop looking so hard
I think you just might find
I ain't finding it so bad
Might be the best thing you ever had

You know a little 'bout love and
I know a lot about hate
I believe you gotta make things happen
You believe in fate

But this won't be the first time that
we didn't see eye to eye
You may not be religious but I'll make you see God
If you give me a try

I know love can get me through it
If you give me that look we'll get down to it

Chorus #2:
Don't shoot me down
I'm not a social disease
You've got that thing about you
Bring a grown man to his knees
I'll teach you baby
'bout them birds and them bees
When you get around
And think about it ain't so bad
Might be the best thing you ever had
Best thing I ever had

Solo
Ah, give me some of that!

When I put out the dog
ya get them old ghosts out of bed.....
I ain't looking for a little to say
Baby some place to lay my head

I'm the one to right your wrong
If you give me a chance and I'll turn you on

Chorus #1
Chorus #2

Shut Up and Make Love

Drop the bass!
(Do you like that?)

Sh!t piled up to your knees
Her old man thinks you're a social disease
Dog pissed on the floor left a stain
Your old lady's naked driving you insane
She stopped taking the pill
Then left you sued you for a mil
You've got your problems, boy so damn great

Can't find a good wife can't find a good job
Can't find the keys to my car
I lost my dog I lost my brain
I lost my girl to a big movie star (whatever)

Now I'm standing at the crossroads trying to find my way home
But the truth is baby I'm so
Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely
Sometimes I'd just

Chorus:
Like to jump in and get me some funky
When push comes to shove
You talk too much and way too rough
How 'bout we both shut up and let's make love

I'm home hangin', the walls bangin'
It's the neighbor next door
They're talking trashy or doing the nasty
They keep me up until four

So they keep on going more and more
I hear and said "Lord, I'm half crazy"
I gotta get me some of that
In and out, and in and out,and in and out

Chorus

When the clothes start flying
There's no denying
Gonna get some funky
Good, good funky

Your blood starts pumpin'
Baby start somethin'
Here oh right here, right here baby
Oh give me a little bit of loving

Solo

It's all so simple
I'll bring the ripple
What's your state of mind?

How 'bout we drink, get drunk
Fall down into a big flesh pie

Chorus

Alt Chorus
??
give me something funky
When push comes to shove
Skip your lip and all the politics
How 'bout we both shut up and let's make love

 It would sound like this....
Stop!

Baby Gets Around

I can't say I ain't been around
That I ain't done my time
Seems like this big old world
Has been one big shoe to shine

But I never ever took a dime
For what comes naturally
And if I never knew the truth
Well she'd be fine with me

One night she stayed over here
And left her little black book behind
Well that little black book ain't little no more
And it wasn't too hard too find

Chorus:
She'd leave me in this lonely room
The thought just made me sick
It's funny how the pieces fit
My baby gets around a bit
Yeah, my baby gets around a bit

Her pager would ring, it's a funny thing
She'd have to go right away
She always had a wad of cash
Much more than her job could pay

I'd ask her where she's going to
And this is what she'd say
"I gotta meet someone for an interview
He's only in town today"

Always a little bit overdressed
Much more than I thought he'd be
High heel shoes and day glow dress
Ain't seem strange to me

She'd leave me in this lonely room
While some stud got his sex
Just then the thought occurred to me
My baby gets around a bit
My baby gets around a bit
Oooh, my baby gets around a bit...

Solo

Took her to the local bar
Where I like to hang
Every guy that passed her by
They all seemed to know her name

They all called her by a different name
And one of them winked at me
Some guy named Stan said "you're the man
I heard you get it for free"

She'd leave me in this lonely room
And the thought hit me like a brick
It's funny how the pieces fit
My baby gets around a bit
Ooooh, my baby gets around a bit
Ooooh, my baby gets around a bit
My baby gets around a bit

My baby gets around....
My baby..

Cover of the Rolling Stone

Coughing, Blues?: "Gol, Bret--don't touch me there!"
Bret: I'm gonna tell you who we are.

Well we're big rock singers
we got golden fingers
And we're loved everywhere we go
(That sounds like us)

We sing about beauty
and we sing about truth
At ten million dollars a show
(Yeah, right!)

We take all kinda pills
That give us all kinda thrills
But the thrill we've never known
Is the thrill that it gets ya
when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone

Chorus:
Rolling Stone
I'm gonna see my picture on the cover
Stone
Gonna buy five copies for my mother
Stone
Gonna see my smiling face
On the cover of the Rolling Stone

I got a freaky old lady named Cocaine Katie
Who embroiders on my jeans
I got my poor old gray-haired Daddy
Driving my limousine.

Now it's all designed to blow our minds,
But our minds won't really be blown
Like the blow that'll getcha
When you get your picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone

Chorus
Spoken: Hey, I know how!!!
Solo
Spoken: Beautiful!

We gotta lot of little teen-aged
blue-eyed groupies
Who do anything we say
We got a genuine Indian Guru
He's teaching us a better way

We got all the friends that money can buy,
So we never have to be alone
And we keep gettin' richer,
But we can't get our picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone

Chorus

Talking:
I don't know why we ain't on the cover, baby!
Ah we're beautiful fellas!
I ain't kiddin' you man, we'd make a beautiful cover
I mean, I can see it right now--we be up front,
Oh, we be smilin'....Beautiful!

Let Me Be the One

So you want to talk about the pain
Talk to me, please explain
Maybe I know what your going through

You got so much pain to hide
You keep it locked up deep inside
In a room no one gets to

I can't feel the way you feel
Maybe I, I've got those same scars, same scars to heal
Wish you've got to understand
I want to be the only man to
Ever touch you baby
To ever...

Chorus:
I'll be there should the sun go down
Lift you up to a higher ground
Let me in, let me be the one
I'll be there should you fall from grace
Wipe those tear drops from your face
I see no more damage done
Baby, baby,
Just let me be the one

I want to be the one to shelter you
Should the rains come down
Never let you drown
I'll pull you through

I want to hear you when you scream
Be your prince when you dream
Hold you close when you cry

I said...
I want to feel your love, your hate
Should you be lost, I'll bear your cross of pain
Love seal your fate
I'll comfort you in fits of rage
I'll be the book you can turn the page, and
I'll still love baby
I'll still...

Chorus

I gotta touch you I'll see no more damage done
You gotta let me

Solo

I hear the hurt I hear the scars
You can lay your hand right down across my heart
Then you'll learn to understand
I want to be the only man to
Ever touch you baby, ever touch you baby ever

Chorus

I'll be calm in fits of rage
Hold you close in times of pain
I see more damage done
Baby, baby, you got to let me be the one

Mr. Smiley

I heard a funny thing about me
Lately I've been living on the edge
I won't say that ain't true,
But who the hell are you
I don't recognize my own face or my friends.

Chorus:
Hey, Mr. Smiley
Read the writing
on the wall
Wake up, Mr. Smiley
Before you don't wake
up at all, up at all

Today, I hired me a yes man
He simply agrees with everything I say
He does all my dirty deals
And feeds me my pills
As long as I'm still breathing he gets paid

Chorus
Solo

Yesterday I had a conversation
With all them voices in my head
One said I was no good
One said I should quit
One said to remind myself to get myself a fix

Chorus

Hey Mr. Smiley
And I'm feeling ten feet tall
Bye Mr. Smiley
You got to go now, they just called, they just called

No Ring, No Gets

Lately boy, your head ain't right
And nothing seems to thrill you
Word on the streets is
No sex no more 'cause, it'll kill you

You touch, she bites,
You push, she shoves
Then she yells in your ear
No glove, no love
Oh, it'll ruin the mood
But you know she's right
When the big head stops and the little head talks
You better learn how to walk the walk

Chorus:
As far as I can see
It's really no big mystery
It's the same old story
No ring, no gets
It ain't the boat you float
It's the motion in the ocean and I quote:
Before you start pumping that fuel out your jets
No ring, no gets

This feeling coming over you
It's a very frustrating emotion
You keep thinking your smooth
Start making your move
But your lady starts causin' commotion

You'd like to round the bases
You know that's for sure
Cause Miss Palm and her five sisters just
Don't cut it no more
You know tonight you'd like to fly her kite
But the wind ain't blowing you got that right

Chorus
Solo

Woman hold the lock
A man's known that for years
You're going up inside to persuade that key
Could bring a man to tears

Your gun is loaded
You got her right in sight
About to pull your trigger
When the girl pulls out the lights

But keep your cool don't make a scene
Cause her ?
?

Chorus (2x's)

 But you won't find (repeat)..
Spoken: Shut Up!

That's the Way I Like It

Well it's boy meets girl and it starts a fire
Two hearts burn in pure desire
A candle burns the midnight oil
Lust to love and raise the spoil

Chorus:
When the girl goes down
That's the way I like it, like it, like it, like it
When the wheel goes 'round
Neither one can fight it

Can't fight the lust
Can't find the truth
Ain't nothing you can do
When the girl goes down

Hollywood and Vine and a hundred more
All the ???  couldn't take it no more
Now standing on the ledge and faces truth
As she ate 'em up spit 'em out, his time is through

Chorus

Misery loves company
Nothing you can do
When the girl goes down

Solo

I woke up this morning in the paper read
The Hollywood Police found a young man dead
No name, no face, or known ID
Just no different than you and me??

? arrives in her strange world
And the story goes it's boy meets girl

Chorus (2x's)

Can't fight the lust
Can't find the truth
Ain't nothing you can do

Tragically Unhip

I'm uneducated
My clothes outdated
I don't stand politically correct

I still hate small talk
And fast cars and hard rock
Still like talkin' about sex

I should be expressing
All my inner repression
I guess depression's now a cultural thing

My record company says
Blow my brains out my head
I make the cover of every magazine

Chorus:
Step inside my nightmare
Welcome to my trip
I cannot pretend and I will not defend
Why this good old boy's so tragically unhip

I still like bad girls
Who rock me hard in my world
Its monkey see and monkey do
When I'm ?

I got an old waterbed
I like to trip into the dead
I've keep a poster of KISS on my wall

I still curse, smoke, drink and toke
and make love in the back of my car

Chorus
Solo

I like that home grown
Mind blowing
You're bringing
R rolling

They see strange stalking
Mind stopping
Ass swinging
Street walking
Floozies

Chorus

Doin' As I See on my TV

When I was a child staring at the tube
I saw sex, violence and death on the news
One day I saw the Duke kill someone
Daddy said don't worry boy, they're just acting son

All I want is attention from somebody
Somebody pay attention to me
Like them actors I got no shame
I want my fifteen minutes of fame

Doin' as I see on my TV
Doin' as I see on my TV

Can I get on the news if I kill my wife?
Would you respect me more if I took my life?
I tried to act and my career just flopped
So I beat up my neighbors and I got on "Cops"

All I want's a millions bucks from somebody
Somebody pay a million bucks to me

I could shoot and rape and kill
And buy me a house in Beverly Hills, please?

Doin' as I see on my TV
Doin' as I see on my TV

I'd even do a porno flick, like all them Hollywood chicks
I'm doin' it as I see on my TV

Took my girl to rent a porno movie
I thought that it'd be kinda groovy
I thought that'd this impress my lover
And there she was right on the cover!

All I want is attention from somebody
Somebody pay attention to me
I'm a man I got no shame
I want my fifteen minutes of fame

Doin' as I see on my TV
Doin' as I see on my TV

Hell I'd even do a porno flick, like my hero Rocky did

Doin' as I see on my TV

Whistling, gargling

Spoken: I am not aware!

One More for the Bone/I Want More

Well she stepped into the room
Right then she got my eyes
She had an ass like a truck
and two amazing thumping thighs

She's built like no other
Just one big fat mother brick house
So impressed to find those breasts

A little, a little, a little (More for the Bone)
She likes whips and chains and things
She don't need no diamond rings
Couldn't get her through the door
So I did her on the floor

Lets get naked baby
And roll under the sheets
I ask one favor baby
Don't roll on top of me

She's my Crisco queen
A non-stop love machine
On the scene like a sex machine
She ain't big going get bigger

A little, a little, a little (More for the bone)
Sparks may fly like the fourth of July
Just don't get any in your eye
Strap me on a 2 by 4
So I don't fall in when she wants more

Solo

I got excited she threw
Her ham hocks over me
One the size of a truck
The other the size of a tree

She whispered in my ear
Just more cushion for the pushin', dear
Guess I had to move when she got down to it

A little, a little, a little (more for the bone)
She likes whips and chains and things
She don't need no diamond rings
Couldn't get her through the door
So I did her on the floor

A little, a little, a little (more for the bone)
Sparks may fly like the fourth of July
Just don't get any in your eye
She's got me on a 2 by 4
So I don't fall in when she wants more

Set You Free/Mind Tripper

When you was a child life’s a game
But you got all the rules all changed
Pray to a spiritual God for material things
Then wait by the phone but it don't ring

So if you feel like you fell behind
That mountain's got too big to climb
Want to hang your head and say screw it
Forget that sh!t lets get down to it
Come on, baby

chorus
Mind tripper
Dance sister
It'll set you free
Mind tripper
Dance sister
Keep the faith
forget the fame
Don't let your balls go down the drain
It'll set you free

The news man shoves it down our throats
The ratings sore, the victims choke
?? best stand clear
For a few of us who got no fear

So you feel like you sinned baby
You got nothing left to hold, no
Stop feeling like a number
You best forget that sh!t that you been told
Baby bring it on

chorus
Mind tripper
Dance sister
It'll set you free
Mind tripper
Dance sister
Bring her right here to me

Mind tripper
Dance sister
That ain't no way to change your past
Just get your head out of your ass
It'll set you free

That sh!t comes down for miles
And it really starts to stink
Then dump it in the ocean
Till it's floatin' at the brink
And when that boat don't float no more
They're just gonna let it sink
Don't ask me no more questions, baby
You know what I think, yeah

Well, have heard about it
All the new talk on the streets
I'm coming on hard, baby
I hope you're ready for a brand new me

So get your head out of the gutter
That's no way to right that wrong
There'll be time enough for sleep
When your dead and gone I said
Bye bye, babe

chorus
Mind tripper
Dance sister
It'll set you free
Mind tripper
Dance sister
Bring her right here to me

Mind tripper
Dance sister
That ain't no way to change your past
Just get your head out of your ass

Mind tripper
Dance sister
Keep the faith
forget the fame
Don't let your balls go down the drain
It'll set you free

Untitled

(here it comes)
Well funky monkey’s in the jungle tonight
They got two by two don’t hear me right

Band playing loudly baby
Gone are the days when the days gone
I said gone

When the monkeys are gone
Gone or dead this is what they said

chorus
Lost Mary
Cries, cries, cries
Yeah she does, yeah baby, that is what she did
Lions sleeps, baby
the lamb surely dies (??)
I just don't want to f*ck you

That’s it

When the jungle sleeps
Is when the monkey shine
I said you do baby ? don’t mind

Back ? are wild
If the deuces left in than the deuces are wild

I said baby, well,

chorus
Lost Mary
Cries, cries, cries
Yeah ?
Lions sleeps, baby
Dies, dies, dies
I just don't want to f*ck you

ooooh, kick it!

solo

Give me some of that

Well dime store cowboy shoot your gun
Knock them mother f*ckers down one by one

Money on up it’s in your face
Gimme no lip or get your face back here

Ooh, got it right

When the monkey don’t sleep
And the money don’t shine
Well, ??

chorus

Face The Hangman

Friday night at midnight
Looking for what I need
I heard a tale that somewhere
That a dude had a real go at me

So like a rat race cowboy
I slipped into the human zoo
Headed down some trouble
Got myself a drink or two

Well I took to the streets
And I took to the bars
Marched right in but I didn’t get far
Manager said hey boy there’s the door
But I didn’t leave until I evened the score

chorus
I gotta face the hangman
Gotta pay for what I done
I gotta face the hangman
Or by the noose I swing
In the morning sun

Like a tipsy gypsy
Looking like I’d been had
But like the story says
This wild-eye